The 1st August (in the Southern Hemisphere) is the sabbat of Imbolc, which is a celebration of the light returning and of the Triple Goddess, Brigid. Brigid's aspects are Smith, Poet and Mother/Healer - in all, a Creator. As, at this time, I obviously felt rather connected to the Mother aspect, I wrote about my thoughts and experience-so-far as a maiden heading into the mother stage of my life.
When we discovered we were becoming parents back in March 2012, a flood of emotions swept over my body. Fear, delight, anxiety, fear, happiness and fear.
Whilst I’ve been on this journey from maiden to mother in the last 26 weeks, my thoughts towards becoming a mother have varied, from “How can I do this” to “I can do this, and I’ll be bloody good at it”.
The fear comes into play when you realize just how responsible you need to be for someone else other than yourself. This child hasn’t even seen the light of day, yet I am already responsible for its health, its wellbeing, even if it’s at the expense of my own. The fatigue, the hunger, the nausea, the feeling downright out-of-whack is all for this amazing little bean inside me. And I couldn’t care less about myself right now if I tried.
Everything I do right now, I do so that this little girl can flourish and become a shining light in this world. I feel like Atlas holding the world on my shoulders, but it feels so light and free. I’m trusting myself, my body, my mind, my spirit, to keep my balance. I am suddenly much more aware of the other forces at work around me – in nature, and the Gods. So much more keeping me afloat just for the sake of this little girl. The only word I can think of to describe how I feel right now is EMPOWERED. When you see a pregnant woman on the street, when you haven’t had a child yourself, you look at them and take what they are doing for granted – a baby forms in a woman’s belly, awesome. But when you actually go through the process yourself, it really is a WTF moment. It plays with every logical thought your mind can have – how is this happening?! How can I physically GROW another person? What the hell is this sorcery?!
Why become a mother? The feeling of contribution to the world comes into play – I don’t feel like I contribute greatly to the world around me. In fact, I do what seems to be very little to contribute. Becoming a mother and being totally responsible for another person in every facet at least for the first few years of their life and being significantly responsible for them for the next X amount of years following that is a huge commitment, and a huge role to play for one person. I think becoming a mother is one way of showing just how AMAZING women can be.
A mother isn’t just someone who gives birth to a child – pretty much any woman can do that. A mother is someone who nurtures a seed, grows them to a beautiful flower, and continues to nourish and feed that amazing bloom until she can physically give no more. And even when a mother’s own light fades, it reemerges as another blossom on the tree of life to which the child she has grown is just a small, yet significant, part of. She continues to contribute to the life of the child she has left behind through lessons and words, teachings and actions. And the wheel of life continues to spin.
Why become a mother? Why not!